Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
