make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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