I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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