Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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