I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
