Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
