Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
