I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
