i think my mom watched the whole time
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
