are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
