new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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