2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
