you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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