We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
