i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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