I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to have your abortion
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
