Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
