new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
