Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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