i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
