The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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