haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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