it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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