Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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