There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
