i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
