Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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