Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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