Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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