What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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