Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
