Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
