I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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