I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
