went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
