Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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