hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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