Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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