why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
