grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
