I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
being pregnant is like rehab
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
