she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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