glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
