then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
