Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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