whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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