You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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