I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
