if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
