it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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