Ambien. No doubt about it.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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