You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
3pm strippers are depressing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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