I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
