So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
