"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
