Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
