Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize