Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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